This is one of those things it's either you read the whole thing to get it or not at all.

This was my weekend.









This weekend. I drove to st. cloud. I just got paid, was feeling well and decided I needed time off. It's crazy how much my life has changed since acquiring a license and taking a loan out for a vehicle. None the less getting an offline job has been one of the biggest changes. I thought I would never be here, or that this time would come.

I took a drive down to st. cloud for the weekend by myself. just me, I didn't make plans, I didn't have any friends down there, but I had enough money. I left at 5 in the morning Saturday. Just in time to catch the sunrise. You know, a lot of things are constantly going through my head, all day, everyday. It's like my brain can't take a break for just one second. But on the ride there I only had one thing on my mind... Skateboarding. Lately it's been my life. Everyday, after work. I skate. 6-10pm. I've found it's one of the only things that make me happy around here anymore. The feeling I get from skateboarding is something I don't think anyone else feels from their normal high school sports. Skateboarding is really something different. It's individuality. It's an expression of who you are, it's challenging and you experience constant failure all the time. I think for a good percentage of my life I've felt failure. I've always had high standards for my self and I feel like I am finally coming to the point in my life where I am getting closer to reaching these standards or "goals". I got to the skate plaza, no one was really there so I cruised around it, got a feel for it and went to the mall. I picked up a pair of raybans, a few shirts, nothing too big, went back to the plaza. By then it was 2pm and packed. There is truly a lot of talent in that area. But on the downside I see a lot of destroyed potential. Immediately when approaching the park, this girl stood out to me. Dark brown hair, blue eyes, medium height and evenly tan. She wasn't skating, just sitting on a bench talking to some friends watching. While I was practicing I noticed a few abnormally long glances but no big deal. She was smoking. Well... half the park was. Younger kids, teenagers, dood's in their 20's. I finally talked to her and said hi. We kinda hit it off and decided to run to a gas station to get some snacks. While on the way there I talked to her, asked why she smoked and why she hung out with that crowd. She told me it helped her deal with all the stresses in her life. It was a form of relaxation for her. It kind of made me sad to see a such a sweet girl slowly disintegrating and losing the battle. She was beautiful, artistic, funny, had a personality. She was chill. Absolutely nothing on her mind and seeming like not a care in the world. Her friends, and their friends and everyone there seemed that way. They didn't take life too seriously. Roll with the punches, take chances, make mistakes, yolo. I don't think I've ever been able to do that. I've always took life way to seriously, tried my hardest to not make mistakes or show fault. This gave me a lot to think about. I had no place to stay so I ended up sleeping in my jeep in a parking lot. Before that I drove around, went to buffalo wild wings, walked around, met some more people at a café had a lot of fun. By myself. When the late night fun was over I drove up to a hill that I saw looked interesting. I sat down and thought about what that girl had told me and what I saw. We never exchanged names but I caught her name from somebody else. I barely said goodbye but she gave me that look "same place, same time" I could tell. I woke up around 9. Skated for a little while and went back to the mall. There I met a couple girls and had lunch in food court. These girls were the same as the one. This intrigued me, seeing the lack of motivation to do anything with their life. Now all my life I feel like I have been pushed down, been told I was not doing a good enough job, never felt proud of. And really, this is what has molded me into who I am right now because I would not be where I am without it. In being pushed down it makes you work harder so that you can reach that acceptable standard. It makes me thankful for my parents. For them pushing me to be better. Going to church 2, sometimes 3 times a week. I'm thankful for that. For showing me what is right and what is wrong. For embedding a set of morals into my head and keeping close watch. Now a half a year ago I would of said I hated my parents. Just over this summer I have noticed personal maturity a lot. I now know what it's like to hold a job, to pay bills, to buy your own stuff. I've learned that money does not bring you happiness. I have a job 8-5, 5 days a week and on my off time I freelance graphic design for a company out in California. With the combined jobs I make about $400 a week. It's not enough. And that's the problem. Why am I complaining. Some kids don't even have jobs. That girl was back. But this time she was riding somebody's skateboard, trying to ollie. haha. It's cool because she could pretty much do it too. Right when she saw me she gave me a smile came up to me and hugged me. The chick seriously didn't let go. We sat in my car and talked more. She still doesn't know my name or my number. That night I pushed myself hard. I was landing tricks, every one I wanted. I got cocky and saw an opportune moment to shine and stand out from the rest. There was this grass gap going from the sidewalk into the highway. Totally not meant for skateboarding, it was like the entrance into the park. To my understanding only a couple people have ollied it but no one really wanted to try. It was about 15 feet. So I decided to backside heelflip it. After 6-7 tries I got it but in the process I bruised my heel pretty bad and cut up my shins and back. It was awesome walking back up after landing it. Everyone chanting, tapping their boards, clapping hands. Before I felt like a nobody. I was just like everybody else, some kid who could do a couple cool tricks, woohoo. Until I pushed myself further, unleashed my talent. And this is what I discovered. All these people I met. People are too afraid to stand out. They're afraid of what people might think. They're afraid they might make a mistake or fail. So they resign, act like a nobody, give up on their dreams, find an escape, dig their hole deeper. Is that what they are really afraid of? Coming into st. cloud I was a nobody. I had no reputation, no friends, nothing. I left with a Reputation. With Friends. Phone numbers. Connections. Experiences. This makes me happy. Knowing that yet another place I am somebody. That I've made my mark and stood out from the rest. You're either gonna make something out of your life or throw it away. There is no in between. I promise you that only good things will happen from it, even if something goes wrong. What breaks you down only builds you up stronger.

If you could like this post, would i do it.

I really like this post. In almost every 1st world country these days kids for anywhere between 12 and like upwards are smoking ciggereates or weed. People thinks its all g and shit to smoke but this kinda shit does major damage to your body. My parents force me to go to church and alot of people at school dont have any religion. But i justfind it easier and less scary to skate. Like if theres like a 12 stair that is longer than ive done before i get a bit scared to do it and i think that i might get hurt and because a have a belief in god i know that hes watching me and i dont have ot be worried. Ok u might think im now a religious gay cunt , but in retrospect i dont give afuck

nice story bro, glad you had a good time, not everyone has the same
Chances as you, I hope you embrace all of them and enjoy your life.
It's easier than you think to throw your life away.
And as far as smoking goes, it does seem like everyone does it but you can only experience things from your side of the dice ray, for some smoking is a fashion statement or they smoke weed to be the cool dude on campus lol I don't understand why with all the available information on the damage it does anyone smokes but then again I do so I guess I am hypocritical.

Thankfully I didn't need the church to install my morals chip 1.0, I've had some weird experiences with the church (don't worry I want molested )
I think the difference between right an wrong comes with age and experience and watching others.
Your jeep looks dope by the way, I wish driving was as cheap here as it is in the states

Awesome post Ray, it's always annoyed me that people are afraid to be their own person. The fact that everyone starts smoking pot at 14, just because the 'cool' kid did it. People do stuff because they want the same reputation as the guy who first did it, and it's retarded. I know so many people that smoke weed just because they think it makes them look cool.
Then comes the part where they dress like tools, chinos, toms, polo shirts and bodywarmers, not to mention the comb-overs. Everyone looks exactly the same, and has the same personality, it's pathetic.
Although them we get hipsters, who try to shy away from acting like that, but they don't realise that they're just like the 'mainstreamers', they smoke pot, dress like tools with obey and supreme jumpers, and have the same personality. They're 'mainstreamers' themselves because they're just following hipsters.
People need to open their eyes and realise that it's better to be your own person, or you'll never truly be yourself.

Also Ray, nice BS Heel

yeea fuck bs heel a 15 feet gap holy shit man make a tape!!

PatrickSELF wrote:

yeea fuck bs heel a 15 feet gap holy shit man make a tape!!

Tbh it seemsr fetche that peoPle are afraid to do it an Ryan back heels it, I'd love to see some of your footage ray

Cool story, really wanna some some footy of you now

thanks guys!

No one ever wants to film me!!! I tried asking some doods their because I had my camera but none of em wanted to and plus I'm sure they'd drop it! :/

And maybe I'm exaggerating. It's about 2 doods long or more. So 12-13 ft.

You should get a minion to follow you around for filming man, it's always good to get footge

I read the whole thing. Enjoyed it. I literally felt a tear coming out at the end haha.
Plus that bs heel 15ft grass gap. dang. Beautiful post man.

Indeed, beautiful post, and you should just setup a tripod next to the gap and film the bs heel again

write a movie dood! this was wonderful.

I think I'm starting a blog.

And I didn't have a tripod this time or anywhere to really get a good angle of it but before snow hits minnesota i'll try to get back up there!

Everyday 4/20. Lol jk..

raymond wrote:

I think I'm starting a blog.

my life is complete now. honestly this is the best thing ive read in a long time.