A person (Ben GP) gives you a free deck but it is inside a sealed bottle that they have farted in. How do you retrieve the deck without suffering the noxious fumes?

To make this interesting, you can't repeat a previous answer.

My ideas:
Gas mask
Filter over a vacuum cleaner

If my calculations are correct if you fart in your face before hand then that fart will then cancel out the fart inside the jar.

Well.. If you believe everything you read, then farts are gas, and gas is lighter than air and will travel upwards. so if you just turned the bottle downwards and opened it.

1.Open the bottle in a plastic bag.
2.Take out the deck quickly.

Put a clothespin on your nose so you cant smell the fat and wear goggles over your eyes so you dont go blind from the fumes.

open it while you are making shortcakes (pooping)

Have Mikkel open it.

mikkel's answer is best <3

but failing that I'd open it and have a lighter lit at the opening as I open it, chances are the small amount of gas would burn without causing any damage to the deck at all, it'd just be a flash flame for probably less than a second.

then the deck is yours, and nice and warm too.

Is it a tango/Coca-Cola/Dr.pepper bottle?
A deck wouldn't fit through the hole, so I wouldn't even attempt it. Maybe I'd just message Ben GP and tell him to stop putting decks inside bottles.

air conditioner.

open the bottle underwater in a pool and then quickly dry the deck
so gas will go to the surface

poke a tiny hole and leave it outside for like 30 minutes , letting the fart leak out

open it with your own bumhole.

get a bicycle pump, put one of those football adapters on the end (as they have a sharp point) pierce the bottle cap with it.

suck fart air out, put the bicycle pump down.

take your deck out fart free, take a huge dump in the bottle (its gonna have to be a runny one because of that neck) place 10 bucks inside the bottle, seal it, send it back.

if you wanted to, you could also (or even skip the crapping in the bottle stage out) and squeeze the original fart back in the bottle and seal the lid. but why do this when you can have twice the fun and send the bottle full of crap and a 10 bucks.....or if you want to make sure it gets opened at the other end maybe 40 bucks (sure thing)........then use the bicycle pump full of 2nd hand fart to blow into someones face.

twice the fun. you never got stung.

also please remember to place a piece of tape over the original pierce hole, or the postman is never going to deliver that crappy package.

cartledge wrote:

open it with your own bumhole.

Im going to have to try that one... thou i wouldn't wanna take my chances with a non screw top bottle.... that's gotta hurt

Science part

leave it a year and the gasses will naturally escape the bottle... plastics and glass all have microscopical holes in them so they will dissipated in time

Just like an old sealed bottle of cock (edit) COKE is flat because the gasses escape threw the open cracks in the material..

Turn the bottle away from you at an angle and just open it and let the deck slide out...

Then as soon as the deck falls out throw the bottle.

Got it!

Hazmat Suit.