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Subject: Girlfriends. Tue Oct 25, 2011 1:11 am
So my best friend has a girlfriend and she is a wicked cool girl but from what he tells me shes quite psycho. He has been with her for about a year and a half, and shit just keeps getting worse for him. He stays with her cause he says he just wants to have sex with her (cause she has model good looks) and nothing more. I honestly think he does cause why else would he deal with a girl who has tried commiting suicide. Well that's not the point of this thread.
She has tried it again just now. He gave me a call and vented to me about it. If she dies he would be crushed... How do I help him out and calm him down. What should I say to this kid to calm him down?
MartinRobs FBHQ Beginner
Posts : 113 Join date : 2011-09-25 Age : 34 Location : Toronto, Canada Companies : U of O Setup : Homewood M9, 30mm wide
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Subject: Re: Girlfriends. Tue Oct 25, 2011 1:45 am
Don't be away from him. Be WITH him. My buddy goes through super rough times with his gfs. Most of the time, just me being there helps out because it gets him to talk it out (you don't even need to say anything). Just be there physically.
Trop32 FBHQ Regular
Posts : 734 Join date : 2011-09-18 Age : 27 Location : K-Town Vermont Companies : Snowboarding, Skateboarding, Fingerboarding Setup : Jack shit.
Subject: Re: Girlfriends. Tue Oct 25, 2011 1:55 am
One thing you can do is tell him you'll talk to his girl but reassure him that everything will be ok if he just spends time with her and helps her through it aswell
GoFingaBoarding Blossoming FBHQer
Posts : 320 Join date : 2011-10-12 Age : 28 Location : Bensalem P.A. Companies : Just Fingerboards, Fingerboarding Setup : Forgiven Fingerboards Old mold, Tech Deck wides with Teflon tuning, Flatface G6Ds and 4cfingerboards Tape.
Subject: Re: Girlfriends. Tue Oct 25, 2011 3:22 am
this is a nutty sitiuation and i kinda know what to do cuz i went through it before, i found it helped when i just had support, dont ask questions, just be there for him, and if hes going to be really sad about her dieing, then hes not just in it for the sex, and ive been in relationships just for the sex, but i always break it off but still have sex with the girl haha, if shes in it for the sex too, you dont have to be in a relation ship, he is IN LOVE with the if hes getting upset to that point, i know, im in love now and im happy! so tell him hes gonna be fine!
Subject: Re: Girlfriends. Tue Oct 25, 2011 7:33 am
Well, first of all make sure he tells her to get some counciling, she obviously needs it, tell him that if he does love her, do lots of fun things with her to take her mind off things. also tell her to let her parents know about her depression, that would take a lot of weight off of her shoulders if she hasn't already told them. And if he really doesn't care about her, tell him to wait until things get better until he breaks it off. If she cares about him it could make her try to kill herself again. Finally, maybe he is afraid to break up with her, because if he did, it could send her over the edge.
raymond Part of the Furniture
Posts : 1725 Join date : 2011-07-08 Age : 29 Location : Minnesota, USA Companies : fingerboarding, skateboarding, film-production, piano, photography, swag
Subject: Re: Girlfriends. Tue Oct 25, 2011 7:30 pm
So he stays with her just for sex but if she died he would be crushed. What for? He's only with her to bust a nut.
Find a new grind.
I'd say get the heck out and do you. You dont need to lead a crew, 'cept you.
Subject: Re: Girlfriends. Tue Oct 25, 2011 9:07 pm
Don't get me wrong, anyone would be upset if someone close died :l why are people saying leave her? what, to make her kill herself? yeah, then he WOULD be crushed, not to mention having that guilt on his shoulders all his life, make him actually help her, never know, if he sits down and listens to her deeply and properly, he may even see something that he actually loves in her.
Subject: Re: Girlfriends. Tue Oct 25, 2011 9:16 pm
Danny Hynam wrote:
Don't get me wrong, anyone would be upset if someone close died :l why are people saying leave her? what, to make her kill herself? yeah, then he WOULD be crushed, not to mention having that guilt on his shoulders all his life, make him actually help her, never know, if he sits down and listens to her deeply and properly, he may even see something that he actually loves in her.
I know what the situation is like but if she's actually fucked up it's not worth it man.
When you are trying to get your own life on track at age 17 - 20 and you have to worry about some crazy broad with mental problems? I don't mean to sound like an asshole but you gotta look out for the main man in the situation. Sometimes it's just not worth the time to worry about and most of the time they are bluffing when they pull the suicide card. I'm not trying to say "DUDE SHE'S NOT GOING TO KILL HERSELF" but you have to admit in this day and age we throw the idea of suicide around more than we pass colds around.
And like, I'm not some sort man-whore either I'm going to be dating the same girl for 4 years in December but I've dated crazy chicks. A lot of times it has to deal with attention and them just wanting to consume all of your time because they are just fucked up. None of the girls I've dated who said they were going to kill themselves if something happened ever did anything. I'm just trying to give you what little experience I've got right now and all I can say is:
Bitches be crazy man.
GoFingaBoarding Blossoming FBHQer
Posts : 320 Join date : 2011-10-12 Age : 28 Location : Bensalem P.A. Companies : Just Fingerboards, Fingerboarding Setup : Forgiven Fingerboards Old mold, Tech Deck wides with Teflon tuning, Flatface G6Ds and 4cfingerboards Tape.
Subject: Re: Girlfriends. Tue Oct 25, 2011 10:20 pm
Forgiven wrote:
So he stays with her just for sex but if she died he would be crushed. What for? He's only with her to bust a nut.
Find a new grind.
I'd say get the heck out and do you. You dont need to lead a crew, 'cept you.
Subject: Re: Girlfriends. Tue Oct 25, 2011 10:21 pm
^I see your point, but imo It's not worth the risk. you can never tell, I guess its up to the guy to decide this, but we don't know if she has something up with her, she may have bipolar, or maybe even be a skitzophreniac, but yeah, when someone's going through a hard time, it's not right just to ditch them.
raymond Part of the Furniture
Posts : 1725 Join date : 2011-07-08 Age : 29 Location : Minnesota, USA Companies : fingerboarding, skateboarding, film-production, piano, photography, swag
Subject: Re: Girlfriends. Tue Oct 25, 2011 10:23 pm
What can I say? Haha.
And Max's and OG. Do what you do to lead you, not a crew.
Subject: Re: Girlfriends. Tue Oct 25, 2011 10:32 pm
Forgiven wrote:
What can I say? Haha.
And Max's and OG. Do what you do to lead you, not a crew.
I'm sorry... I'm really not understanding what you are trying to tell me.
Could you rephrase it?
If your intention was that I do things to lead other people and not myself then you have seriously wrongly perceived myself as a character.
raymond Part of the Furniture
Posts : 1725 Join date : 2011-07-08 Age : 29 Location : Minnesota, USA Companies : fingerboarding, skateboarding, film-production, piano, photography, swag
Subject: Re: Girlfriends. Wed Oct 26, 2011 1:58 am
MaxL wrote:
Forgiven wrote:
What can I say? Haha.
And Max's and OG. Do what you do to lead you, not a crew.
I'm sorry... I'm really not understanding what you are trying to tell me.
Could you rephrase it?
If your intention was that I do things to lead other people and not myself then you have seriously wrongly perceived myself as a character.
Haha, at first I was replying to GoFingaBoarding's comment.
And then I basically was saying that you're an original gangster and was agreeing with your post that you have to do you before you lead a crew. (Basically work on yourself before others, or picking up a woman. Sorry I'm from Minnesota, sometimes we get too gangster|No Homo|).
MaxL wrote:
I'm just trying to give you what little experience I've got right now and all I can say is: